Why does everything taste rotten after Covid?

Why, after a dose of Covid-19, am I left with a new taste sensation resembling charred rotten onions? What do the letters "cde" mean on my haematology blood test results? Why does bleached hair look blond, not white, and does salt water decolour the hair of surfers? How do I get rid of unwanted facial hair? Why is the hole my dog digs apparently bigger than the dirt or sand that came out of it!? Why do mosquitoes prefer me to my wife? Does lighting a match do away with the smell of poo? Sneezing into your elbow: better than a hand or hanky? Dr Chris and Lester Kiewit have the answers...